Occupational hazard?
Neither the husband or I are much into children's TV programming or music. We are, however, into horror movies, crime fiction, and Tom Waits. And we're both creative. So I'm going to call it an occupational hazard when things like this happen:
Children's show (CS): "It was a beautiful, peaceful morning at Caillou's house, at least until..."
Christa's imagination (CI): "... the zombies began to invade the backyard." (I have zombies on the brain. Yesterday, on our anniversary date, we discovered that Max Brooks has a new novel out. I think it's one of the best pieces of zombie fiction I've ever seen.)
CS: "Heh-heh. Wendy's not heeeere."
CI: "She fell into Dizzy's cement mixer. Scoop swore it was an accident, but now she's at the bottom of Mr. Bentley's foundation."
CS: "We had a lot of problems with that goat."
CI: "So we stewed it for dinner the next night."
We do a lot of extremely off-color things too, though we wait until the kid is in bed, and anyway that stuff comes mostly from the mind of the husband. Men.
I'm just trying to figure out which came first. Would I come up with such things if I didn't write crime fiction? Or is it a good thing that I write crime fiction, which provides an outlet? Hmmm...
Children's show (CS): "It was a beautiful, peaceful morning at Caillou's house, at least until..."
Christa's imagination (CI): "... the zombies began to invade the backyard." (I have zombies on the brain. Yesterday, on our anniversary date, we discovered that Max Brooks has a new novel out. I think it's one of the best pieces of zombie fiction I've ever seen.)
CS: "Heh-heh. Wendy's not heeeere."
CI: "She fell into Dizzy's cement mixer. Scoop swore it was an accident, but now she's at the bottom of Mr. Bentley's foundation."
CS: "We had a lot of problems with that goat."
CI: "So we stewed it for dinner the next night."
We do a lot of extremely off-color things too, though we wait until the kid is in bed, and anyway that stuff comes mostly from the mind of the husband. Men.
I'm just trying to figure out which came first. Would I come up with such things if I didn't write crime fiction? Or is it a good thing that I write crime fiction, which provides an outlet? Hmmm...
posted by Christa M. Miller at 11:23 AM
10 Comments:
Christa, that is hilarious. You are one of a kind! ;)
Tom Waits and zombies? Sounds like my home. Or at least like my head.
What I'm really interested in here is what exactly are the 'extremely off-colour' things you people get up to.
No, I'm really going to sleep now. I'll have to wait till tomorrow to find out ... definitely have to get those zombie books, though.
ML - oh no! Does that mean we're the only weirdos who pervert wholesome children's entertainment? ;)
Daniel - we did a brief skit the other night about "Curious George Spanks the Monkey," which I realize is rather obvious. Then there was "Clifford's Big Red Rocket." You see why we do this out of the little pitcher's earshot.
By the way, we target shows we like as well as those we hate....
Hi, Christa. I was going through some old posts at Texas Music and saw a comment from long ago. Curious, I clicked the link and it led me here. Just wanted to say hi and hope you are well. Take care.
Hi Jack. It's really nice to see you here. I love your blog - in fact I just recommended it to Karin Tabke, a mystery author. Thanks so much for the comment, and stay safe!
What a fascinating blog you have! I've sent my blog masses (all 7 people!) ;-) here to check out your blog. And I've added you to the mother/writer section of my links. Have a great day.
You're not alone, Christa. My husband loves to, uh, change the words to pretty much everything on Sesame Street or the tunes that the little farm animal thing on my fridge is constantly playing. Unfortunately, he tends to sing them while Duncan is watching it...
La la la la, La la la la Elmo's girls...
Thanks so much, Ann! I really appreciate that. :)
Silandara, LOL! I'm glad we're not alone, though. I was afraid to post "too much," you know?
My husband says "That which does not kill us makes us silly." Explains Monty Python, I guess...
Pari, that's great! I have to admit that Teletubbies was too terrifying even for us to make fun of. ;) Fortunately we managed to avoid that particular bane, but were not so lucky with Barney... so we saved the royal "South Park" treatment for him. (Ironic about our discussion on your blog - I find myself afraid of offending readers here...)
What good is a blog if you have to be afraid of offending readers?! I'd love to hear about the "Royal South Park Treatment" for Barney, which I'm *so* grateful wasn't around when my kids were little -- "Messy Street" was bad enough (and that's when it was good!).
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